just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
