apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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