yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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