I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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