I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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