Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
