For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
