i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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