remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
