he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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