Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
