I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
