"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
