eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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