dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
