So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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