You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
