is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
