so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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