That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
