Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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