Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
