as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
