Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
