I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
