Do you still have your period?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
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