Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
