You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
