I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
