Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I party with great urgency now.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
