Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
