I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
