He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
pray to the hookup gods
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize