I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
