I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
vagina is talking i cant
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
