Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
