soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
True strength comes from lack of pants
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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