At least make sure they are 18
Why
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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