You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
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