i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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