i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
