I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My pussy is not your playground.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
