Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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