Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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