Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
