dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
