Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is Oprah even human
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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