How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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