There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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