I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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