What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
