We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
