btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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