How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Four minutes until I can fart!
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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