ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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