You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
