shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
