Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
