No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
