My hand turned me down
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
