Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
