I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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