And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
