I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
i think my mom watched the whole time
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
