I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
tequila makes me forget i have legs
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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