paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
There r osticjed everywhere
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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