I cockslap morals
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
